It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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