this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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