u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
