well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
this boner is exhausting
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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