i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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