Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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