Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize