you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
