She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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