You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
