IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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