I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
