I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
