I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
