I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just want to make out with him forever
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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