My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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