Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
