it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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