So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
