So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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