Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oh god it's open bar.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
