Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
