whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
