I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
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