**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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