if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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