that's an acceptable place to lick
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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