i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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