I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
