GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
