'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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