your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
