Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
