oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize