HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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