Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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