i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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