apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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