Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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