fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
