I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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