Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
