great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize