I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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