it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize