she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i dont even know how to be here
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
