my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
