Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
