I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize