so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize