So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Everything about him screamed your future.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
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Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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