His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had sex on a dog bed..
so much tequila, so little girl.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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