I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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