But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
