i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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