I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
