I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i dont even know how to be here
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
