i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
